Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tongue Fu ® by Sam Horn (my verbal defense series #2 )

Tongue fu is the second of  my verbal self defense books

There is also a  interesting story  in the preface on how  it was called : 
The author has develolpped seminars on how to defend  difficult situation and negotiations. After one of her seminar ended , one attendee didn't leave  the classroom , and told the author  that these classes  remind him the techniques similar to martial arts , very similar to Kung fu. So Mrs Sam  renamed the  class as Tongue Fu®!  (with always the !  on the end )

This book  has a different approach  than  Mrs Glass  book  (idiots guide to verbal self defense ).

The book is divided in 5 parts . A total of 30 chapters  between  3 and 8 pages each . Each chapter starts with a quote , then the header , and then full of quotes from famous people  together with short  passages maximum 1 page each after each quote ,  mostly with examples  of using  the technique
IN the end of each chapter there is a table showing more short examples in special social cases

The passages are easy to understand, in relatively plain English but still the vocabulary  is quite rich (ie many  unknown words at last 3-6 per page in ca 500 words  )That's good that I use  my tablet for the translation  for faster reading

The book anyway is very easy to follow and the examples are  real  life. Yes and really   I already did some of these techniques  at first to my daughter and then a internet friends and seemed that they worked well

MY opinion : A very useful book  with nice tactics , some of them close to Glass's  book (as for example  I found the mirroring technique on one of her chapters ) , but  possibly more advanced and useful than the elementary and more general of Glass's  . And you learn also very useful , meat for your mind , quotes!

Rating : 4/4

And here I describe  the contents of the book

Part 1  respond rather  than react

  • Fast forward throu  frustration
  • Handle hassles with fun fu  (ie humor)
  • Talk people  throu their troubles
  • End people though  their troubles
  • End complaints instantly
  • Gracefully exit arguments
  • Name the game
  • Tongue glue!
  • What to say  when you don't know what to say
  • Find solutions

 Part   2 words  to lose , words to use
  • Acknowledge don't argue
  • Become a coach not a critic
  • Turn orders into requests
  • Clear away  the 'cant'  barrier
  • Become  problem free
  • Avoid going to extremes

Part 3 turn conflicts into cooperation
  • Listen up
  • Rules for unruly behaviors
  • Defuse disputes
  • Approach with an open mind
  • Share control

Part 4 get more what you want need and deserve
  • Choose your battles
  • Say no
  • Terminate tactfully
  • Act  and feel confident
  • 5 principles of persuasion
  • Break free from bullies
  • Give people  aa fresh start
  • Take change of your emotions
  • Maintain a positive perspective
  • Ki' em with kindness

Epilogue : turn intentions into actions


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