Sunday, September 28, 2014

Verbal Judo (my verbal defense series #3 )

Verbal Judo   

 With  comparisons  to tongue fu book

Verbal judo is  now the number 3 book in the series  ordered  via amazon as the remain.

The book  is smaller and  thinner than the tongue fu with ca 180 pages
I started reading the book together with making notices in Greek but soon I stopped noticing as  most of the start of the book was  filled by his stories as a cop  and was quite boring to me . 

The first interesting part  was after chapter 9 and still  with little  or less than little  interest , comparing to the  Sam  Horn's  book . I  found that the book repeats  sometimes the same thing , which makes me rather disappointed. But  more interesting is after chapter 12 as these  chapters give more essential  information  with more difficult situations than  someone will cope in the real life than a cop. But some of the tips  he gives  ar mostly for the American   cop or person as for example the  way  of stripping words . That can't be made in the Greek  reality unless adapted . But most  of his tips  need some  cultivation in order to be  used in practical  basis , something that tongue fu-ism gives for immediate  acting

The book  uses  rather simple language , with easy to read text and  rather fast reading  even for me who am using English  as second language with about 3-9 max unknown words  to me per page  . IN contrast tongue Fu  was little more difficult  with more unknown words in a  less text per page. The reason  is that Verbal Judo had  smaller font (Times  10 ) comparing to  tongue Fu (seems  as Georgia 12 ) . 

My rating: 3/5

Here is a contents listing:

  1. Birth of a communication samurai
  2. Motivating the disagreeable
  3. Baptism or fire
  4. Taking crap with dignity
  5. The nice the difficult  the wimp [his definition of human styles  wimp is the most difficult ]
  6. 11 things never to say to anyone (and how to respond )
  7. The crucible of the street
  8. The  most powerful  word of the English lang
  9. The greatest speech you ll ever live to regret
  10. The only way to interrupt people
  11. Verbal jusdo versus verbal karate
  12. The five  step hard style
  13. The 1  great comm  art : representation
  14. The 2 great comm art  translation
  15. The 3 great comm art : mediation
  16. What makes this all so difficult
  17. Reading  ritin and rhetoric
  18. How to diagnose a verbal encounter
  19. The language   of reassurance
  20. How to fight fair
  21. Take  the giant LEAPS [ his method for voluntary compliance ]
  22. Applying Leaps  to your world
  23. Persuasion for fun and profit
  24. The misunderstood motivator
  25. You can punish without drawing blood
  26. Dancing when you might have stumbled
  27. Verbal judo as automatic response
  28. Final chapter : the five truths that fit all  [this is a chapter not written in the fist edition and put here after the author has died ]

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tongue Fu ® by Sam Horn (my verbal defense series #2 )

Tongue fu is the second of  my verbal self defense books

There is also a  interesting story  in the preface on how  it was called : 
The author has develolpped seminars on how to defend  difficult situation and negotiations. After one of her seminar ended , one attendee didn't leave  the classroom , and told the author  that these classes  remind him the techniques similar to martial arts , very similar to Kung fu. So Mrs Sam  renamed the  class as Tongue Fu®!  (with always the !  on the end )

This book  has a different approach  than  Mrs Glass  book  (idiots guide to verbal self defense ).

The book is divided in 5 parts . A total of 30 chapters  between  3 and 8 pages each . Each chapter starts with a quote , then the header , and then full of quotes from famous people  together with short  passages maximum 1 page each after each quote ,  mostly with examples  of using  the technique
IN the end of each chapter there is a table showing more short examples in special social cases

The passages are easy to understand, in relatively plain English but still the vocabulary  is quite rich (ie many  unknown words at last 3-6 per page in ca 500 words  )That's good that I use  my tablet for the translation  for faster reading

The book anyway is very easy to follow and the examples are  real  life. Yes and really   I already did some of these techniques  at first to my daughter and then a internet friends and seemed that they worked well

MY opinion : A very useful book  with nice tactics , some of them close to Glass's  book (as for example  I found the mirroring technique on one of her chapters ) , but  possibly more advanced and useful than the elementary and more general of Glass's  . And you learn also very useful , meat for your mind , quotes!

Rating : 4/4

And here I describe  the contents of the book

Part 1  respond rather  than react

  • Fast forward throu  frustration
  • Handle hassles with fun fu  (ie humor)
  • Talk people  throu their troubles
  • End people though  their troubles
  • End complaints instantly
  • Gracefully exit arguments
  • Name the game
  • Tongue glue!
  • What to say  when you don't know what to say
  • Find solutions

 Part   2 words  to lose , words to use
  • Acknowledge don't argue
  • Become a coach not a critic
  • Turn orders into requests
  • Clear away  the 'cant'  barrier
  • Become  problem free
  • Avoid going to extremes

Part 3 turn conflicts into cooperation
  • Listen up
  • Rules for unruly behaviors
  • Defuse disputes
  • Approach with an open mind
  • Share control

Part 4 get more what you want need and deserve
  • Choose your battles
  • Say no
  • Terminate tactfully
  • Act  and feel confident
  • 5 principles of persuasion
  • Break free from bullies
  • Give people  aa fresh start
  • Take change of your emotions
  • Maintain a positive perspective
  • Ki' em with kindness

Epilogue : turn intentions into actions


My wife is hen ελληνικα!!

Μια φορά και ένα καρό , όχι πάντως πολύ παλιά όπως στα παραμύθια, ήταν ένας νεαρος που λεγοταν Γιώργος . Ο Γιώργος μας ήταν πολύ φτωχος και είχε χάσει τους γονείς του εδώ και πολύ καιρό. Και δούλευε παρα πολύ σκληρά για να ζήσει . Όπως τα περισσότερα αγόρια είναι πολύ ακατάστατα , έτσι ήταν και αυτός.

Το σπίτι του ηταν σε ένα χωριό μερικά χιλιόμετρα μακριά από την πόλη και ειχε οικόπεδο . Γύρω από το σπίτι είχε ένα κοτέτσι και ένα μέτριο κήπο όπου περιποιούνταν  τα ζαρζαβατικά του , τα οποία πωλούσε μερικές φορές για να ζησει
  Λυπόνταν που λογω της δουλειας του δεν ειχε χρόνο για να βρει καμία κοπέλα για να τον βοηθήσει. Ήταν πιο σημαντικό για αυτόν για να βρει τα προς το ζην. Πολλές φορές το σκεφτόταν και τελικά έμενε με την σκέψη! 

Κάποια μέρα, αργά το βράδυ , από τον ουρανό έπεσαν ακτίνες φωτός κάπου κοντά στην περιοχή που έμενε . 

Την επομένη μέρα όταν επέστρεψε από την δουλειά του , παραξενεύτηκε που είδε το σπίτι  συμμαζεμένο  και με ένα νοστιμότατο φαγητό έτοιμο στην κουζίνα.  

Το ιδιο συνέβη και την επόμενη μέρα

Την τρίτη ημέρα έφυγε από το σπίτι αλλα δεν πήγε πολύ μακριά . Μετά από λίγη ώρα , επέστρεψε ξαφνικά και βρήκε στο σπίτι του μια ωραία νεαρη μελαχρινή κοπέλα που καθάριζε το σπίτι . Η κοπέλα δεν πρόλαβε να ξεφύγει και βρίσκονταν σε αμηχανία.

Βλέποντας την , ο φίλος μας παραξενεύτηκε και την ρώτησε. Ποια είσαι και πως βρέθηκες εδώ ???

Το ονομα μου είναι Μαίρη και ήρθα να σε ευχαριστήσω (merry ). H επιθυμία σου εισακούστηκε και για αυτό τον λόγο βρίσκομαι εδώ !!

Και μετά από αρκετή συζήτηση , ο φίλος μας την άφησε να τον βοηθήσει στις δουλείες  του σπιτιού . Την επόμενη μέρα όταν πήγε στο κοτέτσι για να μαζέψει αυγά διαπίστωσε ότι μια από τις κότες έλειπε!!

Η Μαρία του είπε τοτε ¨Ναι αγαπητέ μου είμαι μια από αυτές τις κότες !

Κάποια από τις επόμενες μέρες καθώς η Μαίρη καθάριζε ένα τριαντάφυλλο , ένα αγκάθι τσίμπησε το δάκτυλο της και έπεσε μια σταγόνα αίματος ατο χώμα , Την επόμενη μέρα το τριαντάφυλλου αναπτύχτηκε πιο γρήγορα από ότι συνήθως ..

Ο Γιώργος φαίνεται να εντυπωσιάστηκε. Έτσι και η Μαίρη του είπε ένα μυστικό της , ότι προέρχεται από ένα πνεύμα που ….ενσωματώθηκε μέσα στην κότα.

Έτσι σαν πνεύμα , τα περισσότερα ζώα επικοινωνούσαν μαζί της. Και μια μέρα πηρε ένα αηδονακι σαν παρεα στο σπιτι , μέσα σε ένα κελι, για να την τραγουδάει !

Κάποια άλλη μέρα καθώς ταΐζε τις κότες , τσιμπήθηκε στο δάκτυλο και μερικές σταγόνες αίματος , έπεσαν στην τροφή τους  . Τν επόμενη μερα η κότα που έφαγε τους σπόρους άρχισε να γεννά χρυσά αυγά ! Και για δοκιμή έκανε και το ίδιο με το αηδονάκι .ετσι η Μαίρη  θεώρησε ότι τα χρυσά κοπrana του πουλιού θα ήταν πιο χρήσιμα στον Γιωργο από ότι τα χρυσά αυγά.

Και ετσι η Μαίρη έγινε σύζυγος  του Γιώργου . Και σύντομα ο Γιώργος εγινε πλούσιος , εγκατάλειψε την δουλειά του ασχολήθηκε με καινούρια και πρόσφερε μερος της νέας περιουσίας του και στους φτωχούς του χωριού και ανακαίνισε το σπίτι

Δίπλα από το σπίτι του υπήρχε ένας πλούσιος με το όνομα Teddy , ο οποίος ζήλεψε βλέποντας τον πρώην φτωχό γείτονα του να αλλάζει όχι μόνο δουλειά , αλλα και να ανακαινίζει το σπιτι του κλπ . Και έμαθε ετσι ότι όλα οφείλονταν σε μια κότα που έκανε χρυσά αυγά. Ετσι κάποια στιγμή που έλειπαν και οι δυο από το σπίτι μπούκαρε και βρήκε την κότα. Μετά λύπης του όμως την επόμενη μέρα τα έχασε βλέποντας ότι η κότα έκανε κανονικά αυγά !!!

Η κότα έφυγε από το σπίτι του και επέστρεψε πίσω στο κοτέτσι προτού το καταλάβει ο teddy.

Ετσι ο teddy σκέφτηκε ανάποδα . να απαγάγει την Μαιρη !! Γνωρίζοντας ότι η γυναίκα του (Betty ) ηταν φίλη με την Μαίρη , αφού την κλείδωσε σε ένα μυστικό δωμάτιο , κράτησε το κλειδί μαζί του χωρίς να πει τίποτα στην γυναίκα του.

Η Μαιρη όμως ξέφυγε με τον δικό της τρόπο. Πρώτα μετατράπηκε σε σαύρα , πέρασε από την κάτω χαραμάδα της πόρτας , για ‘εκδίκηση’ (ειχε τον λογο της!) τσίμπησε το πόδι της φίλης της αφήνοντας ένα δηλητήριο χαμηλής δύναμης και έφυγε από το σπίτι

Μετα από το δάγκωμα η Μπετυ ήταν σχετικά άρρωστη, και δεν θεραπεύονταν   με τίποτα . ΟΙ γιατροί που την παρακολούθησαν  δεν μπόρεσαν να βρουν γιατρικό να την θεραπεύσει Τις επόμενες μέρες η Μαίρη πέρασε από το σπίτι του γείτονα και πρόσφερε ένα βιο-φάρμακο και ένα ειδικό βιο-ποτό για την θεραπεία . Και έτσι ο Teddy ζήτησε συγγνώμη

Και η ιστορία μας δεν τελειώνει εδω . Η ιστορία συνεχίζεται μόνο στα αγγλικά και θα έχει άλλο τίτλο και  θα περιλαμβάνει  πολύ περιπέτεια , δράση κπ μέσα σε περίπου 50 σελίδες με πολλές επιρροές απο Ασιατικές ιστορίες , αστυνομικά , τελενοβελες κλπ, με ιδιαίτερα προκλητικό περιεχόμενο (οχι τσοντα !)

Friday, September 19, 2014

Life in the malay kampungs of Kuching 50 years ago

Life in the Malay kampungs of Kuching 50 years ago

One of the less interesting books of my shack
 I  rewrite the back of the book  here

This book written 50 years ago and reprinted  on 2002 by the Sarawakian part of the printing facilities of the University of Msia seems as a  printout of a Word file and includes ca 90 pages in a format of 24.5 x 16.8 using a plasticized paper.
The  language  is rather  technical but still  easy to read , with  some Malay words  using in case  there is nothing  close to English , mostly used in italic form .
The book  consist of many drawings supposing made  by rapidos etc as that  time there wsa no computer . all  these  drawings show the respective points of the River Sarawak where these kampongs are located
IN the first part  the geo info are stated with morphology (alluvial places )climate and vegetation 

IN chapter  2 deals  with the population .There  is a short notice about the term Malay  or Malaysian and even about the local ethnicities migration . What is as mostly impressed was the high death rating 

Chapter 3 deals with  the economic activities of the population . There was a population of ca 1580  persons  tat time with ca 700 involved in labor and economics. There are also several examples on  how  woodcutting  was made that time , the earnings as well as also a timeline of the most important works of the area. I m impressed that they  required  c 28  hours for  gathering abt  4 tons of soil  gathered  into their boats with ca 20 hours for  expecting the tide. I really wonder if today is easier to do this work . the price  they earned  from this business was  $10 (ringgit? And how much  is today ? and also what is the adapted  money for today? )
Surely very hard  work 

Chapter 4 refers to  the  remain  economic activities  as laboring , as for Chinese or te government , fishing , farming , rubber  taping , shipping trading carpentry , gardening and so on 

Chapter 5 deals with the  remain economic activities , as income . Each kampong  has a different average income level 

Chapter 6 deals again with the water supply and the problems  happening  in the kampongs and the availability for water . Many times people  get to gather water the traditional way . Water Piping was  available in a very limited basis

Chapter 7 deals  with the social  geography describing  information  for each kampong

Chapter 8  dle with the  inside geography  ie about the society . house design , lighting ,diseases  diet , religion education and the related

Surely this book  has a limited interest .MY most interesting part  was  on how the hard work referred in the chapter  3 . Hope that today  cars and automotives   replaced  the traditional way 

Dealing with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people

 by Brinkman

One of  my books of management the older  times which is actually  a booklet with only 50 pages
The book  uses simple language with just 2 pages per chapter
At first  it shows a very brief description of the most 10 common behaviors (who did this separation ? I found many page using the same separation as well  many of the pages of the book were in full in the internet

  • The list of behaviors is : Tank , sniper , grenade , known it all , think know it all , yes man , no man , nothing man , maybe man and whiner

There is also a grid shown  the 4 categories between the  manager’s or employees’ intents versus tasks . 

The basic categories  are

  • Get the job done
  • Get the task right
  • Get along with people
  • Get appreciation from people.

For each person  there  are some easy to follow strategies with a separate  chapter  for each  character

As in result  this guide is too concise referring to only the most  important material for very busy managers

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Complete idiots guide to verbal self defense (my verbal defense series #1 )


Some reading the title  can think hat this book is related to martial arts or even to karate > the title is a bit misleading . The correct  with it , is  a different  way of thinking into verbal communication.
The  author is Lilian Glass , with PhD  in counseling psychology and communication disorders
IN this  book  Mrs Glass codifies and writes into techniques and strategies  on why and how you have to communicate with various types of people.

Her language is very plain and very easy to understand ,quite funny ,but  there are some  Americanisms that  my dictionary  does not include as for example  cutsie  wootsie , douche
and others.

In contrast  to the other  related  books as  Tongue Fu! and  Vverbal judo,(from what I looked into their Amazon preview  ) this book show shows  guidelines with special boxes as talk back . verbal vignettes , listen up that add some useful information , that reminds the dummy’s  series of books , with a similar style of organization and layout.
To my opinion  many  of this book’s techniques are quite known, though some of them I didn’t know  or never  used  , but can be more useful  to younger people though still  for he elder  can be a helpful or  communication accompanying book . I have  read it  tw times , the  fist time  for being … with  it , and deriving the  unIDed  words (very few per page) but for the second pass , I kept also some notices with me  in Greek , in order to better keep them in mind and for immediate use . a way that includes  the resume of at least 2 books.
Rate 4/5


Here is a  short description of the chapters of the book together with a concise information
  1. Identifying the  opponent . Deals with the  body language of he opponent together with his nonverbal attitude. And how to observe it
  2. When you are  verbally zapped : just a way to listen behind the lines
  3. Toxic people : all categories as narcissistic  together  with phrases of them
  4. Verbal murder :  persons and  their inherit problems from psychiatric viewoiont
  5. Analyzing strengths and weaknesses : finding out  your points and  asking your mates  friends etc  what they find from your attitude .also some questionnaires about yourself and breath  techniques
  6. Gaming the physical edge : several things to strengthen  your posture
  7. Gaming the verbal advantage : with exercise  to enhance your vocal tone
  8. Communication skill defense : making  enhancements  to your  communication , self analysis , change your bad things
  9. Confident conversation: techniques  for opening a  conversation including several topics of interest
  10. Self defense strategies : learning how to combat yourself , being prepared , using  imaginary  methods and select the best  tactic
  11. When they overstepped boundaries : several easy techniques  to cope against someone to continue his own verbal venom . Includes  breathing  methods
  12. When more aggressive is necessary : tech as as like shouting. Strategies to act  . They are listed also on the 2nd page of the book
  13. When to stop and go
  14. Meanings of words between sexes
  15. Blood in not always thicker than water:  ie between family
  16. Verbal welfare between specific people : for example against enemies , salespeople
  17. Combat against verbal abusers : this chapter describes the categories of verbal abuser as whiners fast  talkers , child sounded people and others together  with the  most appropriate  technique as described in ch 11
  18. Techs against painful abusers  : as flatterers un-talkers with strategies as  noticed in the ch 11
  19. Against  dangerous   abusers  as manipulators , backstabbers , fanatics  etc.
  20. Defense over the telephone :
  21. Against  more difficult situations : as humiliation , focused satire  etc
  22. Death , racism and related
  23. When self defense can save your life : negotiations , persons  cheating with their fake appearance , road  outrages etc
  24. Defending against yourself : fixing your flaws , not  propagating important info about yourself in the community etc

Sticks and stones book by Ace Collins

This is one of my older behavior books written y a columnist and supposedly a bestselling author in the USA . As noticed in his web page is is author of many books related to religious subjects, possibly speaker and so on 
As you may know the full expression is sticks and stones can stick my bones but wiords  don’t hurt me. This book  is involved into the power of the words and indirectly into  practical psychology. 
The contents of the book are as follows:
-          Taking to yourself
-          Write down
-          Saying thanks
-          Greetings
-          I don’t know  what to say
-          Expressing emotions
-          Paying attention
-          Sharing the word
-          Positive coach
-          I  was  wrong
-          Should be so forward
-          News and texting
-          Prayer and praise

IN each section Ace  fllls  the text with many examples from  his life including some very vivid well known stories (I was move to read  the story of Handel on how he made his last symphony after all his friends  left him )

An easy  to read book , using conversational English  with minimal non-dictionary to me . Just a book with all the rather known techniques coded to one boo.
Rating : 3/5