Funny quotes or 'pearls' from Greek students in exams over the time

 

For anyone who does not understand my previous question on the students 'goofs' i m showing you here a few more examples from texts that we are calling them as 'pearls'

BY reding them i hope that you will laugh with them Id you car able please identify the correct umbrella form 

• The capital of Ceylon is Lipton Ti.  [Colombo is the correct just a malapropism  ]
  The capital of Cyprus is Byelorussia [Nicosia is correct totaly incoherent reply  ]
• The Ten Commandments were written by Sinai and delivered to Moses in Plaka [Place in Athens]. They were all made of stone, but very clear.(a helter skelter text of abbiguous menings )
• Greek ancient history: When Odysseus returned to Ithaca, he found the twenty fans [turbines!!] while Penelope was operating them at full capacity. 
  Penelope was  intruded by 20 attendees to marry her becuse anyone though Ulisses was dead Osyssus retuned home killed them all - an extreme malapropism  using toptaly wroing meaning of 'lovers' ]
• And the Russians produced great poets such as Puskas, Lenin, Trotsky and Ivan the Terrible. Siberia is saved from this poetry today with the frozen lake of the Circles  that Chuck Kofski made a palette".  
  Chuck Kofski is meant here as Chaikovski! 
  frozan lake of Crcles : used kyklos [circle ]insread of cykne [ie swan]
  Ivan the terible [totaly irelevant]
  Alll this statement is totaly nonsense
• The exact opposite of the Holy Trinity is the Devilish Trinity, fire, plus woman and sea. Things of Satan. 
  there is no devilish trinity anyway 
  Fire woman and sea are deemed the most evil things for a mana moto called by the ancient philiosppher Menandros
  no idea on what is that
  
• Cousteau is a modern Odysseus, but he did not live in Ithaca, and for this reason his adventures are not called Odysseys but Custodians. 
  [Custodians are a team of people]  malapropism for sure
  
• The revolution in India had the Manhattan Γanti as its leader and symbol.  
   Γanti means glove while Ghandi is the corect name. Γ is pronounced as yoGHurt or WOOferton but surely not mahatan (mahatma! )
  
• The circle is a round line, without connections, connected in such a way that you can not understand where it begins and where it ends.
• The cycle has no beginning or end unless you stop the calipers
  no comment  
• Leonidas and his three hundred soldiers were defeated because Thermopylae was more numerous! 
  He was defeated by Xerxes. he weas inthe  place of Themopyles where the war was made
  
• The Odyssey was written by Odysseus. The Iliad is writen by Mr Iliadas 
   (wrong: Both texts were written by Homer )
• The Tsar's wife was called Tsara. His daughter was called Tsatsara (=comb ). His son was called Noreyev .
  Czar /Czarina /comb and the well knwon dancer NO-revyev?
  
  Totally incoherent statement !!1
  
  
  
  If ou wish to get more thre is a Italian book series wit the titles below 

  1. 'io speriamo che me la cavo'  
     Dio ci ha creato gratis   
     Romeo e Giulietta si fidanzarono dal basso  
      Nessun Porco E Signorina 
      La Madonna fece un guaio con l'angelo  
     Aboliamo la scuola

  
  

  I am unsiure if there are grrrk books today for meitionng pearls All the above were edited by Marcello d Orta ,a intro class teacher in Italy, long ago . all these books includes all kinds of written test: Quotes , funny idea reports  , fake statements , language 'essays',mini stories  etc etc as written from his pupils in the school not just only puns wordplays or solemnisms ! These pupils have a very strong fantasy and humor! Thay have been also translated in greek for a total of 5 . I m not sure if they are also translated in English.

  Goo translation yields the following tiles 

  
  

  -I hope I get along' [samein greek]  this is the fistof the books he edited
  

  -God Made Us For Free (gratis) [god made  us for no reason! ]

  -Romeo and Juliet got engaged from below [same greek title ]
  

  -Our Lady made trouble with the angel  / not greek edition
  

  -Let's abolish the school  /no grrerk edition